Better than me
by mia-dcwut-09
Summary: songfic, after "Trus Metric. Colby thinks his lover shouldn't be with him, that his lover deserves better. slashdontlikeitdontread.


Disclaimer: I dont own anything if I did well yall know what, song is by hinder.plz r&r

Set somewhat after "Trust Metric", and partly inspired by Irena Adler's stories Five Weeks and A name on a list.

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Better than Me

Colby was sitting on his bed, thinking. Even though, he was glad to be home, it felt empty. It had been nearly five weeks since he last slept in it with the love of his life. He didn't know where he stood with everyone due to everything that had happen with him, and his team truly believing him to be a traitor. He sighed as he turned on the radio.

**I think you can do much better than me **

**After all the lies I made you believe**

**Guilt kicks in when I start to see the edge of the bed **

**Where your night gown used to be**

**I told myself I won't miss you **

**But I remember what it feels like beside you **

**I really miss your hair in my face **

**And the way your innocence taste **

**And I think you should know this **

**You deserve much better than me**

As hard as he tried, he couldn't get his mind off the one who captured his heart. While he sat in the prison cell, that's all he could think of. He never planned on falling in love during his mission. Colby remembered the look on his lover's face. He looked into chocolate brown eyes and saw hurt, betrayal and love. He wondered how that could be, could someone still love while knowing they were lied to and betrayed?

**While looking through your old box of notes**

**I found those pictures I took you were looking for**

**If there's one memory I don't want to lose **

**Is that time at the mall you and me in the dressing room**

**I told myself I won't miss you **

**But I remember what it feels like beside you **

**I really miss your hair in my face **

**And the way your innocence taste**

**And I think you should know this **

**You deserve much better than me **

_It's over Granger, _he thought. _He won't forgive you know. You'll bee lucky if he even looked your way. You fucked up when you fell for him. _Colby ran his hand over his face. " Charlie, my whiz kid, I love you, since the moment I saw you. I wish I could take everything back just to have you back in my arms. Even though I know you deserve better I always will." Colby said as he looked at the photos of him and Charlie. He smiled slightly as he remembered when Charlie was a bit too eager and they fooled around in a dressing room.

**The bed I'm lying in is getting colder **

**Wish I never would've said it's over **

**And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older **

**Cause we never really had our closure **

**This can't be the end**

"Loving you is the one thing I never lied about," Colby said to himself as he laid his hand on the side of the bed, where Charlie used to lay. Colby could still smell Charlie scent and feel his warmth.

_I guess it's for the best. He would've never been truly happy with me. I guess I was fooling myself. _

**I told myself I won't miss you **

**But I remember what it feels like beside you **

**I really miss your hair in my face **

**And the way your innocence taste **

**And I think you should know this **

**You deserve much better than me**

The following day, Colby went back to office, not sure how everyone was going to acts towards him. Colby had been assigned to desk duty until he was fully recovered. He sighed in frustration, at not being able to get his mind off the Whiz Kid; not even David's hostility towards him. Everything he did brought back memories. Colby was a bit surprised at how well Don was treating him, being that he has also betrayed and hurt his young brother. He went back to work on the file in front him, hoping to busy himself. His attempts were completely futile being Charlie had walked in.

_Shit, _he thought, _just act normal…ahh…who the fuck are you kidding. _Colby's thoughts were running away from him. He put his head down pretending to read the file, not daring to look at the love of his life.

Colby hadn't noticed the longing look that Charlie sent in his direction. Colby glanced and saw Charlie talking to his older brother. Colby quickly looked back at the file, not risking anybody noticing. A few minutes later Colby was interrupted.

"Uh…umm.. Colby can we talk?"

Colby looked up and saw Charlie standing in front of his desk, with those chocolate brown eyes he could drown in. Colby glanced around trying to find an excuse to say no but found none.

"Sure," he said avoiding Charlie's gaze. He got up and they walked into the conference room. "So what did…" he said looking at the floor.

"Col please look at me," Charlie pleaded.

Colby felt his heart shattering in a million pieces. Colby lifted his head slightly still avoiding Charlie's gaze. " I can't..," Colby felt his voice crack as his eyes welled up in tears.

" Why Colby why can't you," Charlie said closing the space between them as the tears fell from his eyes.

"I hate seeing like this and I cause you pain," Colby said looking at Charlie and saw the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Col you didn't…," Charlie said putting his hand on Colby's cheek and caressed it. Colby closed his eyes at the warmth of Charlie's hand. "You did what you ha…"

"No Charlie I didn't," Colby said pulling away. "I'm sorry Charlie. You don't know how sorry I am if…"

"Colby listen to me," Charlie said cutting in.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I think its best if…", Colby felt the tears being released from their prison.

"What…wait.. No Col what are you saying," Charlie said as he reached for Colby's hand as more tears fell.

"Please Charlie don't make me say it."

"But I don't…no.. Col I love you, please, don't…"

"I love you too but it's for the best Charlie," Colby said fighting the tears and pulling away from Charlie.

"No please Col…Don't…," Charlie said breaking down completely, " do this."

"I'm sorry," Colby said as he headed towards the door.

"Why tell me why," Charlie pleaded looking at Colby as he walked away.

" Because my whiz kid," Colby said looking slightly back at Charlie, "you deserve better than me."

"Colby," Charlie cried, " don't do this!"

Colby turned and walked out leaving Charlie cold and broken.

**And I think you should know this **

**You deserve much better than me. **

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**so what do yall think? hopeyall liked it**


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